


Space

by normalrelativity



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Needs Therapy, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post 15x19, but cas is doing his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29245878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/normalrelativity/pseuds/normalrelativity
Summary: After a Dean tells Cas he needs some space, a newly human Cas does his best.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Space

**Author's Note:**

> The last time I wrote fic and published it, A03 didn't even exist yet. And then November happened, and here I am (so please be gentle) 
> 
> This fic basically has a target audience of two people and I'm one of them. Shoutout to Andy for the inspiration and also the reason I haven't been able to think about anything other than this fic for several days in a row <3

“It’s the natural order-”

“Oh, don’t give me that shit!“

“You need to realize we can’t just hold their hands out there-“

“And you need to teach those fucking kids better!” Dean shouted across the war table at Sam, whose jaw had been clenched and eyes cast to the side for the better part of the argument. They’d just gotten back from burning the second body in a month, both fairly new hunters, and Dean was fed up. Most everyone else had already gone to bed after a long day at the bar—Dean had shut the place down and it had been a true hunter’s wake—leaving the two of them alone to finally hash this out.

“They’re not bad hunters, Dean!” Sam argued, sounding exasperated and defensive. He almost looked like he wanted to cry. “How many good hunters did we watch-“ he stopped abruptly after a severe look from his older brother, resignation settling over his features. “We’re trying the best we can. First thing tomorrow, Eileen and I will sit down and figure something out.”

“You’d better,” Dean warned, turning away from Sam and stomping off in the direction of his room. The natural order of things, Dean thought. Even though he knew Jack was trying to rebuild heaven and the count wasn’t so severely skewed anymore, it was still hard for Dean to accept losing people. Especially people who’d trusted them.

When he turned the corner into his room, he shucked his jacket off and hung it up on the rack beside the door. Cas was stretched out on the bed reading, back propped up against the headboard and legs crossed at his ankles. His hair was slightly tousled and he was wearing a grey t-shirt and red flannel pajama pants. Part of Dean still had a hard time adjusting to seeing Cas in clothes that weren’t his suit and trench coat. “Are you okay?” Cas asked as he turned the page of the book he was reading, and it was only then that Dean realized he’d been looking a little bit too long. He huffed out a sound that was barely more than a mumble and Cas closed the book, carefully placing it on the nightstand. 

“What?” Dean asked when he saw the way Cas was looking at him, fingers folded together in his lap and head tilted slightly to the side. “And don’t tell me you’re going to side with him.”

Cas shook his head, brows furrowed. Dean wished he would have said something. After a few more beats of silence, that wish was granted. “It’s not your fault, Dean. Those boys—their deaths aren’t on you or your brother.” 

Practically deflating at that, Dean’s hands sought out the back of his desk chair and he used it to prop himself up. As he looked around, trying to mentally find the words he was looking for, his gaze landed on the soot that still coated his forearms and he set his jaw. “No, they are. Sure, they wanted in this life and knew the risks, but we can do better. We’ve got to do better.”

“Dean-“

“No, I am sick and tired of losing people young!” He heard the way his own voice had boomed out of him. Cas didn’t flinch, didn’t make any indication of being upset or otherwise affected by the volume, but Dean still felt guilty for having yelled at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled, straightening his back and running his hands over his face. 

Cas sighed, leaning forward a little. “What do you need, Dean?” 

In all honesty, he’d been thrown off by the question. It wasn’t really a matter of what he needed--other than for people to just stop dying, but that didn’t seem very likely any time soon. “I don’t—I don’t know, Cas. I think I just need a little space right now,” he sighed, raising his arms to take another layer off. “I’m gonna go shower.” 

The water ran over him, steaming and loud against the quiet of the bathroom until the muscles in his shoulders relaxed and he was warm all over. As he turned the water off, he briefly wondered how big the water heaters in the bunker were--he couldn’t recall ever running out of hot water. Seeing his reflection in the mirror pulled him out of that thought. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than normal and he ran the towel in his hands over his face and up through his hair to keep himself from focusing on how tired he looked. Instead, he pulled on his robe over his t-shirt and boxers and padded back to his room.

This time, the former angel was nowhere to be found. Dean sank down onto the bed, shaking his head and actively trying to keep the panic at bay. What had he said to him before he left the room earlier? Something about needing space? He scoffed, rubbing at his eyes with his fists. “Not that much space, dumbass,” he said to the empty room as if that would summon Cas back. When it didn’t, he reached over for his phone to try to call him. 

No sooner did he have his phone unlocked and Cas’s contact pulled up than Cas walked back through the door with a cardboard box in his hands. The photo on the outside showed a small orb that had been 3-D printed to resemble the moon, but the real effect was given when the light on the inside was turned on and the craters and hills were illuminated against the otherwise smooth surface. 

“I got you the moon. Sort of. It’s the best I can do, under the circumstances.” The joke jarred Dean out of the mood he was in and he blinked at the box for a few seconds. The lines on his face smoothed out a little as his tense expression melted away into fondness for the man standing in front of him. “You know, Earth had been the main show, but watching the creation of the moon was fascinating,” Cas mused, long fingers prying the box open and pulling the lamp out of its packaging. He held it up and inspected it, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a grin as he remembered. “Obviously not all of the craters were there at first but the ones that were-“ his sentence was cut short by two hands framing his face. 

“It’s perfect,” Dean breathed, leaning in to press his lips against Cas’s. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean apologized to Sam and Eileen the next morning over breakfast, and even sat down with them while they restructured the way they assigned cases. 

“It’s somethin’,” Dean told Cas as they crawled into bed later that night. “I’m not saying it’s gonna keep the death count at zero, but it’s peace of mind for everybody.” 

“That’s good,” Cas nodded, lifting his arm up to wrap around Dean’s shoulders as Dean wrapped an arm securely around his middle. “You know, Jack’s been making some real changes. Positive ones. I know it isn’t easy to see someone go but it’s--“ 

“If you say ‘the natural order’, I swear-“

Cas laughed at that, muffling the sound a little into Dean’s hair. “I was going to say it’s different than before. I know things were rocky for a while, but I do think he was raised correctly.” 

Dean gave a low hum and reached back to turn his bedside lamp off, the only light coming from the little moon lamp that he’d put on Cas’ bedside table. He’d already made a mental note to pick up some of those glow in the dark stars the next time he was in town, if only as an inside joke. Hell, he could probably turn one of the extra rooms in the bunker into a planetarium if he really put the work into it. He might just have to do that, if only to see the look on Castiel’s face. And maybe to hear him ramble about creation again.

Settling back into the embrace, Dean turned his head slightly to press his ear to Cas’ chest. He wasn’t sure when, but listening to Cas’s heartbeat had become a habit of his. It was grounding in a way few other sounds were--listening to a heart beat in a chest that belonged to someone that loved him without condition, without question. As much as it had turned into an inside joke between them, no amount of space would be able to calm him as much as that sound could. For a few moments (decidedly not selfish moments; he’d worked too hard and fought too long for this and damn it, he was going to enjoy it) he listened, feeling the gentle rise and fall as Cas’s breathing started to even out as he drifted off. “Cas?” Dean asked, not wanting to lift his head just yet. He was met with a hum that reverberated under his ear and he smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm also at normalrelativity on tumblr if you want to give a follow over there. Mostly a Supernatural/Destiel blog right now but other interests and comedy do blend through sometimes!


End file.
